King Arthur Legend of the Sword – Review

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It’s no Excalibur but King Arthur Legend of the Sword is a damn fine movie. I know the critics blasted it but it is an Arthurian Legend movie so I had to see it. What I really liked about this interpretation was that it leaned toward fantasy over this boring trend that I have been seeing in movies and books to take the Arthurian legends to as close to reality as one can get. No thanks… I’ll take some wonderful fantasy elements with magic, a sword of power, and interesting creatures and demons. That’s where all the fun is!!!

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There are several places where the story jumps around fast, backtracks to tell plot details, and then jets off to move forward. Some may call it frenetic but Guy Ritchie harnesses this style in a really unique way that never bores the viewer. There are always new and interesting things to look at too. Also, Excalibur may just be the ultimate sword of power in this interpretation. Sometimes the scenes of Arthur wielding the sword are reminiscent of some very cool anime scenes, in that you really see the power within Excalibur being used.

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For me, there is no beating Excalibur (1981) as a movie but at the same time, I love seeing different interpretations of the story and this one is definitely a unique and fun interpretation to see. The critics really got it wrong on this one.

BladeRunner 2049 – SPOILER Review

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Let’s dispense with the gushing platitudes up front. BladeRunner 2049 is NOT a good movie. It’s a Pinocchio with a tagged on twist movie. I’ll give it credit for the excellent soundtrack and beautiful cityscapes but the rest was a mess.

  1. The Story was weak. (SPOILERS coming in FAST). Joe finds a date carved on a tree, that is also on a horse toy in his memory. When Joe finds the hidden toy later, that he supposedly hid, he believes that he is the son of Deckard and Rachel. Nevermind the fact that the there is no point for the the tree to have that inscribed date nor the horse having the same date. It’s a convenience to push the story along even though there is no reason for it. However without it, the easily connected dots could not be connected.
  2. Harrison Ford serves no purpose in the movie. Other than the fact that his big bad replica self (yeah, they are still trying to be ambiguous on this) has super sperm that can knock up a replicant. Why do we care about replicants being knocked up? (FYI: Ford doesn’t even show up until the last hour in this 3 hour bore fest.)
  3. Because Jared Leto, as the forgettably bad CEO company man, can’t make replicants fast enough so he wants to go back to breeding. What? You’re telling me that it takes longer than 9 months to make a replicant? Oh wait… You’re telling me that it takes longer than 20 years or so to make 1 replicant? You have to add in the child growing up. That’s just dumb. Completely dumb. Intolerably dumb.
  4. Joe is flying out into the wastelands to check on this orphanage that the child of Rachel was passed through and gets shot down by these marauders. Luckily, he gets shot down within walking distance of where he needs to be. Then Leto’s woman uses VR missile command to blow the bad guys up so Joe can walk over a hill and find the orphanage. Did I mention that every scene is one of convenience just so the threadbare story can move at all?
  5. Joe has a hologram girlfriend. In the stupidest form of tech speculation EVER… The hologram can go and be anywhere as long as Joe keeps this tech stick with him (usually in his pocket). Where does the hologram project from?
  6. The girl that creates memories comes from out of left field. But hey, we need some way to get the daughter of Rachel and Deckard into the movie. That’s right, Joe isn’t the son. The daughter created the fake memories that were placed into Joe’s head and would lead him to finding Deckard even though it makes no sense why she would do this? Oh… he also hid the horse with the date on it, so we have to believe that SHE hid the horse with the date on it, in the furnace, and then wrote that memory onto him. But why??? The convenience of moving this very weak story forward. If she hadn’t done that, then we could never connect the implausible dots to have a story.
  7. The resolution leaves it open. The bad guy (Leto) is sort of just left out there. Ford get’s off with fake dying and then is introduced to his daughter who created this dynamic never knowing the point to which it would come to. My god this is the most convoluted and shoddily put together story ever.

Honestly… The Ghost in the Shell movie was better and made more sense than this travesty. I hate saying that because BladeRunner the Final Cut is a masterpiece of cyberpunk greatness. Cyberpunk is my favorite subgenre of sci-fi even. So for this long awaited sequel to just tank this badly is a real disappointment. To hear people actually call this thought provoking and packed with substance, tells me that people will fall for anything if they refuse to think about it. There is no substance here though. This movie provokes zero thought, other than how it is shoddily stitched together. It’s the lowest form of storytelling where every scene is a deus ex machina solution just to keep it all going forward.

Catch it on streaming but don’t waste your money or time to see it in the theater. Honestly… by the second hour I was just waiting for Harrison Ford to show up and save the movie (he doesn’t save it at all). I really just wanted to walk out of the artsy bore fest. It was that bad.

If you had the power of Superman, would you be Good or Bad?

 I was just thinking about this today. If you had the extreme powers of Superman would you use them for good or for evil?

 I’ve got to say….power corrupts and ultimate power will ultimately corrupt and I would be so corrupted it would not even be funny. Seriously…the world would be bowing to me and I would take that title of Emperor of the world. I mean…really…there would be no one to stand in my way and even if there was I could pretty much end them quite easily. Heat vision, freezing cold breath, a good uppercut…

 I’d have a state of the art castle built on every continent…forget that whole ice sculpture fortress of solitude stuff; I’d be living in style. The suit would be out too… I’d have to have something in a menacing black to strike some fear into the hearts of the little people.

There wouldn’t be any wars because there wouldn’t be anyone else taking my power from me…so I’d be a benevolent dictator… maybe… maybe not… The world could be run in a very Libertarian and free market kind of way except for in instances where I want what I want…then its dictator time!!!!
I mean….if you have the power you might as well use it…

 

Comic Book Universe’s by Decade Instead of Retcon

Instead of retcon after retcon, Marvel, DC, Valiant, Image, and any other comic book company should do 10 year blocks of a universe. For example: In 2020 the universe starts completely over. New origins, new ideas for characters, and completely new stories. The company can map out the 10 year arc and give the universe a huge ending in December of 2029. On January of 2030, it’s all brand new and has no attachment to the last decade. Doing it this way you create demand too. People who are introduced in a certain decade feel nostalgia for that run. They will be more likely to collect every comic and TPB that comes out of their generation. Others will be interested in how one decade changes from another. So they will continue on into the next decade knowing that it doesn’t change the history of their favorite run but has a whole new story line to follow. I bet you would even get creative teams that would want to craft their books for the full 10 years. The only rules, no mention or overlap with another decade. Books in various decades would also see increased value as that decades readership ages. New readers may also want to go back and see how their favorite characters from previous decades were different, so they would buy back issues. At the same time, new readers wouldn’t be confused by a massive past history and they could jump on easily to their current decade.
 If you did it this way then you could have Peter Parker as THE Spider-man in one decade and Miles Morales could be THE Spider-man of another. Then you wouldn’t get people hating a character that they feel is basically a rewrite from what they know. It’s a new decade and for that 10 years, that is the character.

Movies made in those decades could even take advantage of current lines or play on nostalgia and use the previous decade. Really, if you think about it, it’s just like movies currently that have new versions and reboots. Instead of just piling on the same universe over and over and having to come up with events to explain age and continuity, this fixes everything and endears the current generation to the decade they are living in, increasing nostalgia and sales for complete runs.

If any of these companies do this… Maybe throw me some credit!!!

 

 

America’s Got A$$

I just came up with a brilliant idea for a game show and I have Kim Kardashian to thank for it. Since becoming famous no longer requires any kind of talent, I’m proposing this to be the next big TV Reality Hit:

America’s Got A$$

The ass that launched a family’s career.

For the life of me, I cannot figure out any reason why Kim Kardashian is famous other than for her very own ass, which brought her to fame and glory.

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Admittedly, Jennifer Lopez has a nicer ass but it took her years of dancing, acting, and singing to get famous… you know… real work and real talent. Here’s the kicker, not only did Kim get famous off of her ass, but her entire family rode her ass to fame. I guess that is talent…er… I mean… Ass.

That’s just way too BIG!!!

 

Samurai Champloo

Samurai Champloo is my new favorite manga/anime. Why didn’t I know about this awesome series sooner??? The premise is basically a young waitress (Fuu) gets a rogue (Mugen) and a ronin (Jin) to follow her as bodyguards, in the search for the Samurai that smells like sunflowers. Adventures, hilarity, drama, and action all rolled into 26 episodes, that have a beginning, middle, and very satisfying (edge of your seat) ending. The setting takes place in the Edo period of Japan with a fictionalized hip hop mix thrown in for style. “Champloo” translates to “Mix” so Samurai Mix makes sense when you look at the interesting mix of ideas fused together. It’s funny, because the characters really grow on you and by the end you are just hoping beyond all hope that none of the main 3 lose their lives. In a lot of ways, I identified more with Mugen (speaks his mind with no filter), but feel I should be more like Jin (more contemplative and silent). The interaction between all 3 main characters is really what draws you into the show. They start at odds with one another but through their travels they learn that they have become true friends and a family. The action sequences and sword fighting is awesome too, with excellent animation. I also watched the dubbed version because the voice actors are excellent and you really lose nothing from the story, hearing Mugen cuss, being a standout, with his witty comebacks and insults.

If you haven’t watched it yet… WATCH IT. All 26 episodes are currently on Netflix so check it out!!!

 

Basilisk (Anime)

If you want to watch some MA (Mature Audience) Ninja fighting action then Basilisk is an awesome anime to check out (HULU both Dub & Sub available). The story is about a decision to base the next Shogun on whoever from the competing families of the Iga and the Kouga (10 Ninja’s from each) can be last left alive. At the heart of the story it is much like Romeo and Juliet in that the head of each family is in love with the other (Gennosuke (Kouga) and Oboro (Iga)). It is very violent though, so you have been warned!!!

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There is also a Live action movie version of this anime which is also pretty good and called: Shinobi: Heart Under Blade